Monday, November 27, 2006

The Anti-Buttefly Effect

Another day , another ordeal !!! Dawn of the dead !!! 'Butterfly's keep fluttering in an out during the training. Today, even the vibrancy and resplendence of the butterflys appear in monochrome.

The phrase 'Butterfly Effect' represents the idea that a very small difference between two initial conditions are amplified by evolution exponentially such that in a short time the two situations are very different from each other proceeding on a different trajectory.

So, I was hoping that the other day of training would evolve into something fantastically different. But it was just the same drab training !!!

You guys must wonder at the inherent contradictions in my ramblings. Well, as a philosopher once said ' Nonsense is nonsense only till we find a point of view from where it makes sense''. One persons madman is another persons Philosopher.

We are slowly meandering through this herculean task. Learning symbolic meanings which seems to evade my symbolic logic. This is an exception to the Darwin's evolution theory. 'Attention!! Back evolution in Progress ' says a notice on the door outside. I can see my IQ diminish with every passing minute. Pretty soon, I will be competing with the dipping sub-zero temperatures. I seem trapped in a a state of suspended animation like the surreal painting of Salvador Dali !!!
Every time I look the the lady teaching us, I think of the poem of John Keats I once read 'La Bella Dame Sans Merci'.
I am numb and speechless ... recovery time estimated ... 48 hours
till then ... 'free falling ' like the legends of rock Lynard Skynard put it ...

Thursday, November 23, 2006

' Train ' ing consequences

Only when you think you have hit rock bottom ... you realise there is a 6 feet under too ... its like 'falling into infinity' ... i had reconciled with this free fall and evolved into a 'falling star' (i like the pun)

I am sitting in a training in a company headquarters in another country and another continent. I am shocked too see how boring it can be !!! I feel cheated that i travelled more than 12 hours for nothing. Being taught something abstract called FMEA or Failure Mode and Effects Analysis.

The entire discussion till now is slowly pushing my brain into a coma. Attention span of a 6 yr old ... but what is hear is for the demented !!! GOD !!!

' I want to break free ' screams my comatose brain, but ( special emphasis on BUT ) I put on the exterior of a 25 yr old professional. My brain registers nothing from the outside and my face registers nothing of the inner conflict. I am calm and serene as a placid lake but the inner turbulence is over-whelming ...
To top it all off, my educated colleagues discuss the trivial and obvious details which is staring into our faces ...
we are all going in concentric circles, each one oblivious of others and in his own. Strangely, I am at the the center of the circle which is static and is not getting anywhere.
this gives the ' circle of life ' a new dimension


here i write furiously to vent my pent up frustration ...
also, this puts the term ' management ' and MBA into a new perspective ... I being to understand the reason for this mad clamour for an MBA. MBA provides a justification to peddle something obvious and trivial !!!
This seems to be the root cause for all complexity and confusion. the management jargon is also the brain child of the same devil ... the conjure abstraction in the obvious
this seems to be the pre-requisite to join this brethren ...

the process of initiation or CAT is a something painful or painless in some sense ... it is beyond imagination how much hopes are pinned without knowing the price they pay for this... they sell their soul to the devil but there is a bigger price they pay ... they sell their reason too !!! Sounds funny ?? wipe away the smile ... it is a ghastly truth to be reckoned with ... the completion of the mutation is when these CATS grow these fancy whiskers !!! each one is a self proclaimed ' chosen Cat ' ( not man but CAT ) . all this seems like a surreal version of the classic ' the animal farm' . I see CATS with fancy whiskers ,instead of PIGS, talking abstract gibberish.

I am taught how to connect with some lines 'all ideas of mine' , 'defined by me' and 'validated by me'.
I am taught how to compartmentalize my thinking to fit into a block diagram.
I am taught 'the most complicated way to copy' !!!!
BRAVO !!! the CAT wins again ... my ideas are connected by me and i need a CAT for this !!!

FMEA -- FOOLISH Mental Endless Antics